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McDude's Kind of CoolWindow Jumping Rebel |
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� 2002-04-24 - 8:43 p.m. How the hell do you clean an oven? I have so much grease caked in the thing it would take a year of constant scrubbing to get it all out. Martha Stewart should just say, �Leave all that Grease in your oven to add flavor to your delicate baked items. For the last week every single news program was saying, �The cardinals are going to see the Pope.� Now they have talked to the pope. The pope said sex abuse is bad. Now the Cardinals are returning home. The news keeps us informed on every singe benign detail. The cardinals are flying. The cardinals have landed. The cardinals ate Spaghetti. Now it is huge news that pope said abuse is wrong and a sin. Why is this news worthy? We already new the Pope would say this was wrong. What the hell is the Pope supposed to do? Come to the states and shove his cane up the guilty Priests asses and say, �How the fuck do you like it? Who�s your favorite new kid?� A new survey about men�s sex lives is out. I find it funny. Single men have sex once a week, married men twice a week, and single men with live in girlfriends 3 times a week. Does the average man really have sex once a week? I know a couple of guys who haven�t had sex in a year. I am sure this throws off the average greatly. Where do priests fit into this survey? I bet the average Priest has sex 4 times a week. But it is surveys like this and many other facets of the media that really fortify people with unrealistic expectations. No matter how ridiculous it seems, the Herbal Essence commercial of the girl having orgasms while washing her hair leaves permanent impressions on ones psyche. Car commercials of people racing along the edge of mountains, the lead actor in nearly every show, play, movie is completely irresistible to every person in the movie. Except for the member of the opposite sex who must win them over. I seriously think people have some expectation that the average person has so many potential suitors that there is something wrong with them. They should be fighting off people. Until the one perfectly witty, beautiful, intelligent person needs them and wins their heart. How ridiculous is this. Most people sit at home dreaming of a Lexes and fantasizing about uncontrollable sex, wild evenings of laughing and anecdotes of nearly scary adventures almost gone awry. Who actually has these things? How many people have wild anecdotes? How many people go out of their way to have wild anecdotes to say? My wild anecdote: During first part of my teenage years, I would sneak into my girlfriend�s room while her grandfather, who was supposed to be watching her, would be sleeping in from of the TV. She�d lock the door and we�d fuck around. Then she�d unlock the door and I�d leave. One day the door wouldn�t unlock. She suggested that I hide in the closet while she screamed for her Grandfather to come and kick down the door. I envision her grandfather coming in, smelling sex, looking in the closet and finding me there smelling of sex. So I decided it would be better to jump out the window. So I jumped out the window. The end. Wow McDude you are out of control, a loose canon, you play by your own rules. McDude the window jumping Rebel. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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