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McDude's Kind of CoolVulnerability to Visibility. |
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� 2001-11-28 - 10:20 p.m. Yesterday I worked until 8. I left a little early today but I still have a ton of things to catch up on. I only missed three days of work. But I just can�t seem to catch up. I�m shoveling the work off of my desk at 1 inch an hour but the work is falling at 1.25 inches an hour. Hopefully I will be caught up by the weekend. Yesterday after work I stopped by Wendy�s my favorite �I am to lazy to cook� place. Usually when I stop in a family will be there. Usually grabbing an overdue dinner because of a child�s athletic game or musical recital. Observing these family�s is startling to me. I realize that my upbringing was slightly unique. My parents were both nearly 40 when I was born. They never so much had a disagreement while I was in the house. My brothers and I were well behaved. We didn�t have any sibling rivalry at all. But at the same time our relationships were cold. No emotions good or bad were readily visible. No random outpourings of love. No frustrated shouts of anger. This has left me too emotionally stable. I am invisible from all that try to read me. I am really quite lively. While sitting with my stonewall look on my face, I am invisibly smiling. While my voice monotone says, �Awesome!� invisibly I am saying, �GOD DAMN IF THAT DON�T KICK ASS!� When I miss a spare while bowling I say, �oh crap.� Invisibly I say, �oh well I�ll get it next time.� (Eternal Optimism during competition is a strength.) When the Bears are playing I lose my power to be invisible and yell what I am thinking with all the color that I feel inside. During sex I am like, � �. But inside I am screaming about my arrival at a wonderful place. Until of course I finish then I am too ticklish to hide it and a giggle might slip out revealing my sudden vulnerability to visibility. I am safe when I am invisible. Don�t make me lose my invisibility. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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