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McDude's Kind of CoolRudolph the Red Beaked Penguin |
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� 2001-12-08 - 10:46 p.m. I tried to go Christmas shopping today. Christmas shopping isn�t like it used to be. I don�t want to buy people more junk that will sit on a shelf and collect dust. Because I have a conservative voice of reason turning down every gift idea that I have the shopping has not even begun yet. Trying to guess what DVD�s or CD�s my family and friends want is impossible. Maybe I�ll buy stuff that smells good and give it to all the ladies in my life. But what do they want to smell like Peaches, Cucumber, or Rhubarb? I�ll buy all the guys a big tub of cheese and sausage with Rhubarb jam. Why should I spend 20 bucks on someone who will spend 20 bucks on me? We probably will buy presents that the receiver could give a crap about. I will start a tradition that every year on Halloween I will give everyone a Halloween card stating the amount I would have spent on him or her. Instead of them buying me a gift in return they should buy themselves a gift for that amount and I will do the same. Then when we exchange Christmas cards I will send a picture of the gift I purchased with the money I would have spent on them. Sounds practical which is why the tradition will never catch on. I�m glad the holiday season makes people happy. It makes me happy but I would fix a few things. Since reindeer can�t fly it would be more realistic if penguins flew Santa�s sleigh. At least they are birds. Rudolph the Red Beaked Penguin would be just as catchy. Candy Canes have to be the worst candy. Rearranging your home to place an evergreen tree decorated in junk and lights in your best window is a lot of work for little gain. The holidays allow desperate guys to walk around with hats of mistletoe. Parents force baby�s to sit on a bearded monsters lap. At least old, unshaved, chubby guys can work for a month. The song 12 days of Christmas needs to go. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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