McDude's Diary

What do all of these events have in common? They all originated in Florida. Who is the Governor of Florida? Who is the Governor of Florida related to? Who is the Father of both of them? This entire event started when George Sr. was elected to the white house.

Is it a coincidence? Maybe Elian Gonzalez doesn�t belong with the others. But I believe the others are related. Somehow. These people snuck into the country? Or was let into the country to throw the election? And train killer sharks? They complained when they were not given compensation for their actions. So they are retaliating by attacking the trade center and spreading anthrax. Who is the first victim of the anthrax, a tabloid that knows the truth? I better watch out.

This sucks, for every minor ailment I have I am thinking in the back of my mind, could this biological warfare? For every sniffle, cough, grunt, hangnail, zit, neck ache, creek, pop, slush, fart and belch I have a thought about how weird and out of place it was. I breathe deep to prove I am not dieing. Yesterday I could breathe deeper then I could today. Why am I so drowsy? I am hungry? I am to warm? Why do I have chills? I need a coke. What�s that noise? That noisy plane seems to be flying funny? It�s heading right for me? Wait it turned. This water is kind of hazy, do I really want to wash my dishes in it?(Yes the Dude does dishes) What�s that smell? Someone is burning uranium in the hallway! Wait, that is just Taco Beef. Who�s screaming? Oh that�s just the neighbors having sex. Why isn�t my car slowing down? They sabotaged my brakes, nope I just needed to press them harder.

They not only struck the trade center, pentegon, while spreading anthrax. They have infected my life with paranoia. Just as long as they don�t fuck with the Bears.

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