McDude's Diary

McDude's Kind of Cool

McDude's Version of Evolution

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Not A LP Trixie

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2004-10-13 - 11:07 p.m.

Recently BB was asking why guys would rather stick their nuts in a blender than tell a girl they don�t like them. I have really been contemplating this. It�s most obviously true and I might know why.

First let�s examine the behavior of guys. Let�s go back to the play ground days. Two boys are trying to impress a girl. One brings little Susie a lizard, the other kid punches lizard kid in the arm. Little Susie then ignores them both and continues to play hop-scotch. Denied, punchy kid and lizard kid go on masturbating. Now let�s move ahead to Jr. High. Lizard boy writes Susie a love letter, it�s relatively sappy. He copies some lines from his mother�s romance novels and asks her to go steady; unfortunately he gives it to her friend to hand to her. They read it together giggle a couple of times and toss it in trash. Punchy boy begins dressing like the mannequins at Kohl�s, he steals his older brothers cologne and hair gel hoping some hot chick will find him attractive. He finds Lizard boy�s love letter in the trash and punches him in the arm. Susie doesn�t notice. The stroking continues.
The cycle continues with each boy throwing more and more come on�s out to girls they like.
Lizard boy learns guitar. The girl he likes ignores him.
Punchy buys a nice car with a loud stereo. He finds himself sitting next to a cute girl, he looks over and smiles. She then fixes her make up in the mirror.
Lizard boy tell�s all the hot chicks funny joke�s. They laugh and become his friend. He thinks of them while he masturbates.
Punchy boy passes his hot female friends a bong. They hit it and laugh at his jokes. They refuse his attempts to kiss. He thinks of them while he masturbates

We have a nice pattern. Women are always receiving invitations from men. . Everyday they turn them down by ignoring them, or becoming their friend, or calling them big dorks. So guys get really used to being turned down and masturbating. Girls get used to guys falling all over them.

So guys get desperate and feel they need to work on their game. They will begin a routine of sending out invites to girls without really thinking about it. Until one day a girl decides to settle on him and accepts the invitation. She�d rather have a Brad Pitt of course and he�d rather have Kirsten Dunst. After they�ve gone out a couple of times he suddenly he becomes antsy. Maybe he should hold out for Kirsten Dunst. His star is looking up, if one girl accepted this invitation then other�s more similar to Kirsten Dunst must be out there waiting to receive his invite. So the guy becomes distant. He doesn�t want to burn the bridge with his current girl but the door needs remain open in case Kirsten Dunst knocks on the door.

While the guys stock is rising the girls stock is instantly lowered. Guys are always sending them invites. Now this guy is not even interested in them. They begin to feel like they are no longer worthy of Brad Pitt because Joe Schmoe isn�t even interested in her. So she makes her move and tries to trick him into staying so she doesn�t become an old maid.

The sad thing is the women is better and could date her Brad Pitt and the guy isn�t that great and will never date his Kirsten Dunst. Yet they�ll continue a routine of crying and fighting and mis-communication until she�s pregnant and they have to get married.

That my friend is what evolution is all about.

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