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McDude's Kind of CoolManufactured Enthusiasm |
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� 2003-06-01 - 11:49 p.m. My brother visited this weekend. Lately hanging out with family has been more and more enjoyable. Maybe blood really is thicker than water. We saw the Baseball as America exhibit. Then we watched a movie titled �Manic�. I received 50 bucks for my birthday, a book on the history of bowling, and Barton Fink. My parents took my brothers and myself out to lunch today. I was worried they would ask about my ex. Or grill my brother about having children but they didn�t. Which is good. I didn�t feel like telling them that the ex found a job in Champaign. Which pretty much ends any hope of us getting back together. I�m torn between being happy about her finding a job in this stubborn economy and losing all hope for us having a future as a couple. I wished in the back of my mind that she would have given up on grad school and finding a job downstate and moved to the area. Maybe we would have hit it off again. Maybe we would have realized it was not going to work. But now that she has a new job we�ll be leaving everything unresolved and it is eating my insides. Now we�re friends. I get a hug and a kiss on the cheek when we say goodbye. I get manufactured enthusiasm. She no longer tries to understand my ideas or humor. She�s retired from her job as McDude�s girlfriend and is simply trying not to burn any bridge�s down. But I still have hope. While I lackadaisically browse for someone new, I long for her to show genuine enthusiasm, kiss me on the lips and listen attentively to me. Now I�m confident I�ll find someone new before she decides to un-retire and return to being my girlfriend. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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