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McDude's Kind of CoolLong John Silvers Day |
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� 2002-04-20 - 10:24 p.m. Today I paid 14.99 for a classic Atari gaming pack. What a deal. I got Millipede, Crystal Castle, Missile Command and Tempest, plus some other crappy games. I bought the guitar music to the Green Day album Dookie. I plan to give it away as a gift. Today was a Long John Silvers day. Which is a day where I don�t say a single word for like 9 hours. I always go to Long John Silvers on these days. Luckily not even a Tele-Marketer as called today so I literally haven�t said a single word since noon when my old college roommate left. I called my brother to see if he wanted to hang out. His answering machine answered so I hung up. I played some guitar, some video games, I read, I wrote a few emails. Then I wasted about 1.5 hours on yahoo chat trying to find a naked woman on a web-cam. I didn�t see any. But, I did see a dildo and some naked guy. The Internet is the greatest thing since TV Dinners. After realizing how much time I wasted on yahoo I logged off without succeeding in my goal. I then listened to my neighbors. I thought I heard some moaning through the walls. But I was mistaken. So I decided to use my blender and make a Daiquiri and write this entry. I�ve succeeded. My goal setting should always be this simple. I should always decide to drink and write, instead of setting nearly impossible goals like seeing free naked women on a web cam, or hearing my neighbors have sex. While shopping in Target I saw a middle aged man pushing a young child in a shopping cart. He was running around the corner. Then he stopped put his fist to his chest and did a cough gag thing. Then continued walking. The girl kept saying, �Faster, Faster�. He shamefully replied, �Daddy can�t go any faster.� What a sad story. All the guy wants to do is be a trophy father. My first fall semester at college a freshman girl�s father died of a heart attack while moving her in. I wonder what happened to that girl? Did she ever graduate from school? How could she continue living in the brand new place that killed her father? Maybe I should lay off the Daiquiri for a while. Depressants are bad for you.
A middle-aged colleague was ripping comedic movies of my generation. While I would normally agree with him he chose Adam Sandler movies as his example. Why couldn�t he pick bad movies starring the likes of Ben Stiller, David Spade or Pauly Shore? So I forced to admit I own both Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. I think Billy Madison is hilarious. Happy Gilmore was a gift, but still not a horrible movie. So there I was forced to defend all the pathetic comedies of my generation. But then instantly I remembered some great comedies. �What about Clerks, Half Baked, The Big Lebowski, Office Space.� I�m sure there were some horrible comedies from your day?? They don�t show the bad ones on Cable. All we see are the good ones. �Animal House, Blues Brothers, Caddy Shack, Fast Times at Ridgemont high. All in all the good movies are comparable. They just make more bad movies now. Why does a Doctor Keep his temper?? So he doesn�t lose his Patients.
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