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McDude's Kind of CoolKindergarten ruined me. |
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� 2002-03-14 - 8:19 p.m. I work on the 9th floor. When I leave for the day I am usually one of the first people on the elevator. Some days the elevator will not stop on another floor until the lobby is reached. But on most days the elevator will stop on 2 or 3 floors. The people walk in and trap me in the back of the elevator. I was the first one on yet I will be the last one off. Plus I will have to walk behind the people in front of me all the way to the parking lot. Sometimes the people in front of me will be having a conversation and casually stroll to the parking lot. I am trapped behind them trying to pass but the hall is skinny. Thus I am forced to lag behind them in agony as I listen to their petty conversation. At grocery stores and fast food restaurants I always find the longest line. As the people in front of me try to explain that they want the breaded chicken sandwich on a Croissant instead of a bun other customers fly through the line next to mine. Even people who entered the restaurant minutes after I had. Or in the grocery store I always pick the line with the people who think everything is on sale. �Nope bananas are 12 cents a pound,� they will say. Price check on brown bananas will soon be heard over the loud speaker. Meanwhile families with two shopping carts full of items fly through the line next to me. These things aggravate me, because in kindergarten lines are organized. Everyone has a turn to be in the front of the line. Everyone has a turn to be in the back. It would be nice if I woke up one day and found out that today was my day to be in the front of the line. I got to wear a necklace that says, �Out of the way sucka, today is my day to be first.� The people on the elevator would line up behind me and I could gingerly stroll to the parking lot as they try to pass. People in the grocery line would wait on my sale price on horseradish. People would have to wait on their special Filet of Fish no Tarter extra bun, because I was the chosen one. I�ll bet that I could be elected to congress in a half dozen states if I had the front of the line necklace legislation as a key piece to my campaign. All those damn posters and commencement speeches have it wrong. We should forget what we learned in Kindergarten. This is a capitalist society and nothing can be �fair� as defined in Kindergarten terms. Damn you kindergarten for giving me these unnecessary stresses. Bank Lines for all and to all a good night.
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