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McDude's Kind of CoolHumidifier Dreams |
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� 2004-01-24 - 5:55 p.m. I�ve been in training all week. Which means I�ve been going to a room 8 hours a day to listen to a guy talk about a programming language. Needless to say by mid afternoon of each day I was fighting off sleep until eventually sleep wins and small amounts of dozing and head nods commence. Of course the instructor observes my behavior and nonchalantly claps his hands loudly and I wake up. I�ve had this problem since high school. When I was in jr. high or before I never had any problem paying attention. Then all of a sudden during my freshman year of high school I could barely keep myself awake in the afternoons. The good teachers would ask me to pay attention and the bad teachers just let me sleep. In Jr. College I had a math instructor who lived just down the street from me. Each time I would fall asleep he would ask me a question. I awoke as soon as my name was called but I had no idea what question he asked and had to embarrassingly say, �I don�t know.� One day I saw him in the hall and he said with a grin, �I don�t know how you passed the last exam when you don�t even know what 2 + 2 is.� We chatted about my drowsiness and I thanked him for caring enough to wake me up. Asking me a question was always the best way to wake me up. My heart would jump threw my throat and I�d be more alert than ever. I started drinking coffee on Tuesday to help ward off sleep during my training class. I rediscovered how productive and alert coffee makes me. But still afternoon rolled around and it was nothing but �doze city�. So I decided the air in my apartment must be too dry for me to get a good nights sleep and I bought a humidifier. I think that it might actually help. My throat feels way better and I don�t wake up from choking in the middle of the night. But I think the humidity causes weird dreams. Last night I had a dream about a guy from my hometown. To set up the dream I�ll describe the real life confrontation we had. This guy was a couple of years older than I was but we both attended the same college at the same time. We always said hello and made idol chit chat when we saw each other since we were from the same town. Then one day I saw him in the cafeteria and said hi but he didn�t say anything. Right after I exited the cafeteria I heard, �McDude, you gotta problem wit me?� I was dumbfounded. (By the way the guy talked like a redneck.) �Uh no� I replied. He just kept staring at me. �You gotta problem with me or somethen?� �What are you talking about?� �I asked you a question!� �Why would I have a problem with you?� � You gotta problem wit me?� He was standing taller and sticking his chest out. �Dude I have no idea what you are talking about.� �The other night at Rocky�s� �Hey I haven�t been to Rocky�s in a month.� �You gotta problem with me?� At this point I was not only dumbfounded but also quite frightened as this guy was big and was trained to kill in the military. So I said, �I have no idea what�s going on here so I�m going to go and eat my food.� �You betta watch out!� he yelled as I walked away. We never spoke after that day. A couple of times we would walk by each other on the sidewalk and he would bump into me. Eventually I figured out that the last time I went to Rocky�s(local and extremely generic college bar) my buddy and I were talking with this guy�s girlfriend. My buddy started telling her about how I would make her a porn star. I was drunk so I went along with the stupid charade not knowing that she had a boyfriend, let along a boyfriend from my hometown. I was joking around with my friend earlier that evening about how I was going to make a porn movie called the �The Neglected Nipple�. It would be about a girl who had a hideous mole near one of her nipples. Not one of her lovers would ever go near that nipple. Until the end of the movie when she meets her Romeo and he can see the true beauty of her nipple and caresses it and she has the best orgasm ever. �I will turn smut into an art form,� I said. So I had a dream last night about the guy who wanted to kick my ass. He cornered me and said he was going to kick my ass. I asked him why and he began a long-winded story about I how I accidentally caused him to be in a car accident and now he suffers from brittle bone disease. He then turned into a small child and started crying. I woke up and wondered where did that come from. Usually you can deduce what caused a dream but this one was way out of left field. On a side not Thursday in class I went to check the daily Dilbert cartoon on Dilbert.com. But instead I typed in Dilber.com and it took me straight to a porn page with bare breasted women. I quickly closed the window and looked behind me to see if anyone noticed. Thank God no on did. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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