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McDude's Kind of CoolHe could possibly have a giant penis |
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� 2004-05-23 - 8:38 p.m. Friday night benefits buddy came over. We went out to dinner and then saw Shrek 2. Dinner was good. I forced her to go to J Alexanders Steakhouse and she forced me to pay. The prime rib is always excellent there, but this time the roof was leaking. Benefits buddy flagged down the waitress and all she did was give us some napkins. Crap, can�t you get a free for stuff like that, or at least a new table? After that we went and saw Shrek 2, which was funny. Some girl behind me kept saying, �That�s horrible.� I heard her use it in place of, �That�s Funny�, �That�s gross�, �That�s retarded�, and �Little Children shouldn�t see that.� I was more amused by the slang than annoyed that she kept blurting it out during a movie that I paid 9 bucks to see. After the movie BB and I came back to my place got drunk on a super strong red bull and vodka and had sex. I think we passed out about 2 AM, but then she woke me up at 5 for another romp. Then she slept for about 40 minutes and left. I slept until about 10:30 AM when my mother called to let me know they were coming up to visit on Sunday. I read an Anne Landers on the subject of to many visits by the in-laws after a child was born. I think the resolution was put up with it. Anyway I started wasting time by flipping through the many channels we now have. An hour later Talkshow called and invited me over to watch the Cubs game that started in 20 minutes. I still had to shower and told him I�d be there in little while. After my shower I was just ready to walk out the door when the phone rang, I answered in a perturbed voice thinking it was the Dancer. It turned out to be the ex. Even worse! �McDude, I�m so bored at work right now!� Glad to see she only calls me when she�s bored at work and her boyfriend is not around. We had the same old obligatory conversation, I told her about my niece and roommate she told me about her new kitten and her possible job promotion. Then I mentioned that my rent went down again and she mentioned she�s only paying 259 a month. Which is obviously her rent divided in two, she realized her blunder immediately and then there was an awkward silence. Do I ask about a possible roommate? No that would be too easy on her so I broke the silence by saying, �What a deal!� She then quickly ended the conversation and I assume felt like crap. Was it a victory for me? Nope! On the way to Talkshow Hosts I was thinking about the conversation and our break up. I�ve realized that she definitely left me for this new roommate of hers. It pisses me off that she doesn�t have the balls to tell me anything about it. I have no idea who this new guy is. Is he a genius, rocket scientist? or a pot-head loser that works at Denny�s? Does he have personality? Or is he a yes man? What did this guy have that I didn�t? So now I feel inferior because I was dumped for some mystery man who could possibly have a giant penis. Maybe if I had some information about him then I could convince myself of my superiority over him. But until then it is 50/50 and I�m usually on the bottom half in my head. So I was in La La land all night. We were going to some party. Another $30 all you can drink in 3 hours party. I decided to skip the all you can drink and just have a couple. The bar was super loud. I tried having a conversation with a girl I met a few weeks ago but it turned out like this, �McDude, How�s the roommate?� �What?� I shout. �How�s your roommate?� she asked again as I bent down to hear her. �Good, she wiggles a lot!� �What?� �My Niece wiggles a lot!� I yelled in her ear as she stood on her tiptoes. �How is the COBOL?� �What?� �How is your job going?� �Yeah, Ha ha ha!� What the hell just happened there? So I gave up on trying to converse and concentrated on trying to be seen! Apparently this bar is a place to see and be seen. So as I sucked in my belly and tried to casually lean and sip my beer my mind wondered back to the ex�s live in boyfriend and his possible giant penis. I wasn�t very sociable and Talkshow picked up on it. He said I just needed to be more social, which I usually am. I did squander a couple of opportunities to shout in some girl�s ears. Sorry if I wasn�t in the mood. That was probably the last weekend in a while where I will be partying in the city. I have camping, weddings and baby showers and trips to Washington DC in June. It is a much needed break from trying to find a soul mate at some meat party. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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