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McDude's Kind of CoolCock Blocking on Sweetest Day |
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� 2003-10-19 - 11:26 p.m. I celebrated Oktoberfest by going to the Chicago Brauhaus yesterday. I bought a 2-dollar hat and drank some Francis Conner and a Pint of Bitburger. After ordering our food I listened to a couple describe Amsterdam and the Running of the Bulls. Well it is a good thing they aren�t trying to market these places because their stories were rather boring. During a pause in the conversation �talk show host� gives me an extra 2-dollar hat. Apparently a girl at the table had been eyeing me and he wanted me to put it on her head as a flirting gesture. About 1 minute later the girl stated she wanted to dance and the couple I was talking with was encouraging me to dance with her. �Score� A girl who giggled at every comment I made and who was eyeing me all night is now dancing with me. The band was playing polka music so we danced in circles and I twirled her. We laughed and giggled. When the band took a break we walked to another table where the rest of our crew was. She then grabbed the hand of my friends buddy, �the accountant!� I was cock blocking some guy�s girlfriend on Sweetest Day. I felt like an ass. This had already rubbed me the wrong way. Whenever I�ve met him in the past I try to strike up a conversation and he just provides yes or no answers and stairs at the wall. One night I asked, �Do you ever get sick of being called a bean counter?� Then after an awkward pause I quipped, �Because I get sick of being called a computer geek.� First I make fun of his profession now I�m fantasizing about stealing his girlfriend. (Something I shouldn�t do simply because my ex might have been stolen from me.) I�m trying to convince myself that he�s a boring bean counter and that she needs a guy with a 21st century profession. What an Ass! On Sweetest day! I�m going straight to hell. Luckily my buddy�s brother saves the day. He was participating in a yodeling contest. When it was his turn instead of yodeling he sang, �You all can suck my Schnitzel.� Surprisingly they didn�t kick him out. Needless to say he didn�t win the contest. But at least our crew was focused on his bonehead move and not my cock blocking maneuvers. Toward the end of the night my buddy�s wife was looking for him and wanted me to check the restroom. I walk in and see that someone is in the toilet. I yell, �Kn*dsen�. Then some guy at the urinal quotes the Big Lebowski and says, �Who the fuck are the Kn*dsen�s?� I replied, �I am gonna go find a cash machine.� When I returned I told the wife I couldn�t find him and then 5 minutes later he shows up wearing the same shoes that I saw in the restroom stall. We argued for 10 minutes about whether he should have answered or not. The girl I had danced with was listening to the conversation. After quoting the Big Lebowski lines she says she loved the Big Lebowski but didn�t remember who �Fawn Kn*dsen� was. I went on to say she was Bunny Lebowski, the girl that said she suck the dude�s cock for a 1000 dollars. Talkshow host thought that might have been a deal breaker but instead she laughed and continued the conversation. Now I�m dreading talking to my buddy at work tomorrow. Is he going to give me crap for dancing with his friend�s girlfriend? He�ll probably tell me they broke up on sweetest day. Maybe I�ll keep dreaming. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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