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McDude's Kind of CoolWe didn't have can openers |
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� 2003-06-30 - 10:07 p.m. I am the coolest motherfucker in the world. I worked out and then walked to Wal-Mart to buy some deodorant and a watch. I haven�t had a working watch in about 3 years. I figure why own a watch when practically everything that has a power supply keeps time. My pager, oven, microwave, computer, VCR, 2 alarm clocks, wall clock, TV and Automobile all have working clocks. Not to mention every telephone at work, bank and many television stations. I decided the risk of getting a bad tan line was worse than possibly not knowing the time. I visited my hometown last weekend for a family reunion. I have not seen most of these people for 10 years. I probably will never see most of them again. My grandmother�s sister was there (great aunt). She always thinks out loud. Someone brought a can of something but did not bring a can opener. When someone started sawing the can open with a pocket knife my Great Aunt said, �When I was younger we didn�t have can openers. Hell, we didn�t have anything.� I thought it was funny at the time but now I think she was sincerely bitter about all the cool things we have now that she didn�t have back then. A Wicca school is proposing to move to my hometown. The town�s people gathered around the site to pray. Apparently praying for things to happen is completely different and more rational than casting spells. If you ask me it is the same thing and both are equally ridiculous. If the witch school does move to town every bad turn of events will be blamed on them. Then someone will burn the building down but the police will conveniently turn the other cheek. It would be cool to be the kid of one of the Wiccans. Being forced to move into a small town where all the kids shun you except a few local outcasts. You�d be just cute enough to catch the eye of the most popular girl in school. You�d almost have an affair but the captain of the football team shows up just in time to save the girl. Just when all hope is lost for winning your one true love a tragedy happens and you save the day. Suddenly the entire town accepts the Wiccan�s and you become the most popular kid in school. Wait, wasn�t that movie called Footloose? Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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