McDude's Diary

McDude's Kind of Cool

Santa's a Bloody Tosser

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Not A LP Trixie

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2004-12-01 - 11:31 p.m.

I hung out with the Irish girl tonight. She�s in town until next Thursday. We had a blast. This girl swears more then a navy veteran with jock-itch in a jungle. �Dwayne scheduled a meeting for 4:45 to 5:45,� she exclaimed. �Dwayne do you have a bloody piss, fuck�n schedul�n a meet�n for quarter five! Fuck that! I marched over to his desk and�..well lets just say I told him he�s a wanker.� Later on she was complaining about a girl taking her rental car without permission, �This girl is thick, who fucking takes your car without permission then returns it without any petrol in it? Shyiiit! I�ll catch her in the high grass, I will, don�t you know, only a wench will return a car without petrol.� I then asked if she could be called a tosser. �A tosser? Yes she could be a tosser, but she�s worse then a tosser, she�s just a bitch, Shyiiit.� Granted all this swearing sounds serious but she did it in good fun and with a laugh. Quite charming. Hearing an Irish girl cuss is a lot like watching the star from an old time movie say, �Don�t crack wise with me.� �Or hey what�s the big idea?� It has a slightly outdated innocence. But it could still make my mother blush.

So we went to PF Changes and cold stone. We talked about how her family never celebrated Christmas and the reasons behind it. Apparently they don�t celebrate birthdays either. Celebrating birthdays originated in Egypt when they celebrated the birth of their God�s. Therefore Birthday Celebrations is like celebrating a pagan God. Jesus never celebrated Birthdays so why should they. Fair enough then. So I asked if she ever got to talk to Santa. �Nope my parents always told me Santa wasn�t real. I felt sorry for all the other children because their parents lied to them.�
Then I told the story about how I was in the 4th grade and my mom took me into her room, closed the door and sat me down. She said, �Mcdude, you know there is no such thing as Santa Claus?�
�Mom I already knew that!�
�Well who told you?�
�I don�t know?� I didn�t know. I don�t know if I ever really believed in Santa. It�s a ridiculous story. Maybe I believed it when I was two. But I always knew it was far fetched because of the way people talked about him, using an excited voice as if to trick me into being excited about such a great thing. It is not to much different then how some televangelists talk about Jesus. If they would talk about Santa with a straight face much more like a Catholic priest I�d be more inclined to believe.

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