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McDude's Kind of CoolPenis Growth Motivation |
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� 2001-05-22 - 9:28 p.m. I got an invitation in the mail today to see a Financial Motivator speak. What in the hell is a financial motivator? Better yet, what does a financial motivator talk about? Will they teach me to talk to my bank account? Maybe I will learn how to make it want to grow. To give it self-confidence so that it will work out on its own and want maximize its potential. If I were to go I would give it about as much of a chance that I would give a preacher. That is not very much of a chance. I am sure she�ll just give you tips you already know repackaged in such a way that it will make you want to buy her videos and books. Then after watching the videos and follow her advice you wind up running in place with very little gain. But you�ll feel better about your finances, which is definitely more important then having good finances. The power of positive thinking will do wonders for the perception of your bank statement. Maybe I should become a Penis Growth Motivator. I could have half-hour sessions with insecure men for about 200 bucks a session. I would yell at their penises like a drill sergeant. �You call yourself a Penis, pinkyboy?� �I have pubic hair that would put you to shame� �Now drop and give me twenty.� At the end of each session I would have the guy measure it while it is limp. The first few sessions I would have the air conditioning on full blast so shrinkage would make it a little smaller. As the sessions progressed I would turn up the heat. So the shrinkage would not happen and the penis measurements would increase. By then end, the measurements would show improvement and their testimonials of miraculous growth would bring in more customers. As long as their girlfriends played along nobody would know it was a sham. Until 20/20 investigates my little business everything would go smoothly. I could just see their hidden camera sting. Then they would show interviews with the men and their wives confessing to being suckers. Their voices disguised to and their gullible faces would be fuzzy. �So the room was really cold during your first session?� �Did you have any idea that temperature made such a difference in size?� �Tell me Mrs. Dude did you really notice a difference?� Finally they would approach me in public where I would hide my face and tell them to get the hell away from me. After the story would air the newsman would sit at the news desk with the anchors. �How can other people protect themselves of this fraud?� - Newsman �Well there is no scientific proof that having someone yell at your penis will make it grow.� -Reporter �How can men with small penises grow their penises.� - Newsman �Well I have a penis pump, I hear surgery is good, and if you can�t beat em join em, just have sexual reassignment surgery.� - reporter �Thanks Geraldo, up next �Do you know what your children are seeing on the Internet?� McDude �Well that�s like, your opinion man� The Dude Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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