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McDude's Kind of CoolOut of control Sex |
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� 2001-04-17 - 10:32 p.m. I was just in my kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Of course I didn�t have any lights in my apartment turned on. So I turned on the light on my kitchen ceiling light. Blah! It�s the crustiest yellow light ever created. The lampshades look like they are made out of recycled kitty litter pans. So I shut it off and turned on the light above my oven along with the light above my sink. The difference was unbelievable. I have lived here for seven months and not once did I try an alternative means to light my kitchen. As I looked in the mirror I saw the most romantic image of myself. Standing in my bachelor pad kitchen, wearing sweatpants and a College State T-shirt. Low levels of normal light produced subtle intriguing shadows around me. Then I started looking at my feet and slowly moving up. I thought, �Wow the lighting is perfect for me to cook hot chocolate in.� But then when I got to my head the mood was gone. If this moment had happened yesterday all would have been fine. My beautiful head of hair was gone. With my gigantic bush of dark, thick, wavy, out of control hair gone, in its place was a �normal� haircut. A short, straight, and boring haircut that makes me look darn attractive. I look grand, I feel uninteresting. My hair is now what all of my acquaintances believe it should be. But how romantic is being attractive to everyone else? If my hair is fucked up I suppose I know you are hanging out with me for my intellect. If I look good you might be hanging out with me to make yourself look good. I would rather make you look intellectually good then beautiful. But beauty is what every marketed product provides today. The days of utility are dead. Women and soap opera men have replaced it with perfect bodies, with perfect sex, with loud orgasms. These things don�t exist even the women with perfect bodies don�t look perfect when they wake up. I bet they have really ugly nipples or worse a baseball glove vulva. Besides if they weren�t intelligent you�d get sick of them in the morning after they complain about having to sleep in the wet spot. If your not having loud out of control sex then you need our product. It will make you look trendy, intelligent and get you that out of control sex you�ve been missing. Please. You know a marketing trend that would kick ass. Buy our product. It will give you universal enlightenment and will leave your clothes pine forest fresh. Wow, peace love and understanding. Of course if you put all that philosophical crap with the sex then you�d get laid and ponder if it really happened. Please -McDude Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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