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McDude's Kind of CoolShopping for a glass eye |
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� 2004-02-03 - 5:40 p.m. I�ve had a white pussy object in the corner of my eyelid for the last couple of weeks. At first I thought this was a side affect of pink eye. But it didn�t go away so I decided to see the doctor. Benefits buddy told me it was probably just a sty. So I go to the doctor thinking that he would say it was just a sty. After examining me he sits down and says, �I don�t know what could cause that growth, I�ll refer you to an optometrist.� Which of course translated into my mind as, �Oh fuck! What the hell was that? I ain�t dealing with that! I�m sending you to the mother fucking optometrist. He can cut that thing out of your head.� I asked him if it was related to Pink eye and he said it was not. So now I�m worried about having eye cancer. I�d better start shopping for glass eyes or maybe an eye patch. I wonder if Abercrombie & Fitch make designer eye patches. You know what would be really cool. Getting a magic 8 Ball for a glass eye. Except the writing would have to be reversed so I could read it in a mirror. I�d have total upper management potential then. �What do you think McDude? Should we move forward with the (insert cheesy acronym here) project?� I�d shake my head look in a mirror and say �ask again later� just like a legitimate manager would. While I was waiting the waiting room there was a Russian couple. The woman kept whispering in Russian. She didn�t seem to understand that waiting room conversation should be kept to a minimum. At least she knew you had to whisper. She kept whispering and whispering and her husband was totally zoning her out. He would occasionally grunt a couple times, �Uggghhhh����Ugghhhh uggghhh��� It sounded like she was bitching him out but everything you say in Russian makes you sound pissed off. She could have been saying how much she loved him and it to me like she said, �As soon as we get home I�m going to cut your balls off.� Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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