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McDude's Kind of CoolChicken Transvestite |
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� 2004-08-19 - 11:31 p.m. One of my lunch buddies at work mentioned that he saw me jogging last night. So I proceeded to explain my running route and how it has progressed over the last month. I mentioned how I lost some stamina when I had a bout of diarrhea two weeks ago. The entire table groaned and had disgusting looks on their faces. �What?� I asked. One guy said that I should have referred to it as my stomach problem. I had the same reaction when explaining the illness to my cube mates. They responded with horror and disgust. But if I were struck with the flu they�d be perfectly fine with it. It�s not like I had gallons of zit puss flying out of my ass. That would be gross. People need to loosen up. Diarrhea is no worse than a story about binge drinking that ends when the drunk vomits in the back a cab. I�ve decided to take tomorrow off. I desperately need a day off simply because I have virtually nothing to do. My day consists of checking the issues log queue first thing in the morning and finding zero issues. I then delete about 20 work related emails in my inbox of which 19 do not pertain to me. Then I�ll write short emails to most of my friends. I�ll check dilbert, cnn, my hometown newspaper, Suntimes.com for Chicago Bears news, chicagobears.com, yahoo sports for the Cubs standings. Then I�ll try and find someone at work to BS with for about 20 minutes. Upon returning I�ll reply to my friend�s responses then my old lunch buddy will call and we�ll talk for 20 minutes. I�ll talk to the lunch buddy about the Bears, different co-workers and his bathroom. Then I�ll surf the web for about 15 minutes before its time for lunch. I�ll go to lunch for at least 90 minutes. Currently we talk mostly about football during lunch and someone will argue for or against a particular player�s statistics. So right after lunch I�ll go and look up the statistics for that player on the internet then check cnn.com again to see if the worlds exploded. Usually I�ll daydream until about 2 PM when the Russian Girl on my team will stop by. Then I�ll take a tea break with her for about 30 minutes. I�ll surf the web for a while and send out some more emails. Then I�ll go take a shit. I�ll daydream and BS with co-workers until 4 PM when I leave an hour early. My day has become a routine that I often forget what day of the week it is. I desperately need a new project. But the one I�m on won�t be outsourced until December or January. Woe is me. I never thought getting paid good money to do shit would suck so much. Productive work is the only way to prevent sour emotions. So it�s now 11:36 PM. I�ve done nothing tonight but drink beer and play John Madden Football. I created a new user ID for online play. When I use the new ID I will only use the Chicago Bears as my team. Thus I used the Fridge as part of my user name. I played two games with the new ID and lost both. They don�t give the Bears any respect in the game. Plus I played to guys ranked in the top 10000. Oh I was drunk to� yeah that�s it I lost because of my blood alcohol content. So what do you call a chicken in a super man outfit? Answer: Transvestite Chicken on Halloween. That would be a great Halloween outfit. Dress up as a chicken in a super man out fit. In fact the best Halloween outfits combine two costumes to make a statement. A pig man in a police uniform is one example or girls with giant strap on dildos. I should dress up as the Unabomber with a George Bush for President poster this Halloween. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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