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McDude's Kind of CoolSucker with a capitol S |
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� 2004-09-14 - 4:46 p.m. September 14, 2004 My bowling league started yesterday. I bowled fairly well and we won 25 to 5. I had games of 186 and 194. We have a new bowler on the team this year who averages 215 so the league president comes to our lane and asks if our roster was set which it is and he keeps talking and talking as if we didn�t have enough bowlers to fill the roster. So I say, �We have more than enough bowlers on our team.� Just to get him to leave and then he says, �Well if anyone on your team wants to bowl full time there is a team in the league who could use another bowler. Then after he leaves a guy on my team says, �If our 215 bowler is taken off of our team and put on another team then I�m quitting.� This would be the second time we�ve had an excellent bowler removed from our team and I would consider quitting as well. I don�t think anyone will be removed from our team and we�ll make a championship run this year. Who knew, men�s bowling leagues could be such a soap opera. I�m writing this at work again and noticed that there is a bunch of salt and peanut residue on my desk. Instead of getting up to find a paper towel or a napkin to clean the mess I decided to use the sticky part of a post it note to clean up. Now that is what I call efficiency. Saturday was a good day. I played flag football on Saturday morning. We arrive at our usual spot at the forest preserve when a lady comes to us from a nearby picnic shelter and says, �You guys can�t park here I have it reserved and I�m expecting a lot of people.� So the other co-founder of flag football argues that it is a public park and we have every right to be here. I tried to say that we could simply move to another field. Then the park ranger comes and says we need a permit for any kind of athletic activity and kicks us out of the park. What is the point of having a park if you can�t go there and play games? The football game itself was fun. Now that my old college roommate has moved to North Carolina we don�t have a dominant quarterback. Which is okay because I�m a pretty handy QB when I need to be. My team dominated the first game as I led our team down the field while the other team continued to throw interceptions. Looks like I�m now the dominant quarterback at the games. Later on Saturday Talkshow and I decided to go to the Riverboat to play some Texas Hold em Poker. We waited 2.5 hours for a seat at the table, and then we played for 45 minutes. I won 160 bucks and Talkshow lost 200. I was riding high and Talkshow wasn�t riding that low considering he blew 200 bones. We returned to the city and went to Quenchers for a couple and then met g-money and his hyperactive sister. We met some girl G-money works with at a bar. One of the girls that was there said she had an ex who looked just like Talkshow and he was hung like John Holmes. I told this to talkshow and he responded with, �Who�s John Holmes.� I am not for sure if he was serious or not. We then started talking about G-Money�s inverted nipples. I have quite the curiosity for inverted nipples and often talk about G�s to embarrass him. The girl then went on to say that she definitely didn�t have inverted nipples and it took all of my inner strength to not say something like, �Well prove it.� Later in the evening Talkshow was doing his usual routine of flirting with girls at the juke box. He actually got a hug from one girl. So I started mocking, �Oh you like David Bowie too, HUG MEEEEEEE!!� We were all rolling but Talkshow didn�t think he got a kick out of it. We returned to the Oasis and I didn�t pass out until 4:30. When I awoke Talkshow and I had just enough time to get breakfast and watch NFL football. Why my Bears can�t kick more ass I�ll never know. But I�m positive they�ll beat the Packers next weekend. Friday night I went out with BB and G-money and Talkshow. We saw Anchorman, which is a hilarious movie. The theatre was filled with teenagers, the perfect environment to see a silly comedy. Afterward we went into the city and BB got drunk. I drove. We came home and passed out. So the Dancer now has a boyfriend. They met a quicky lube about 3 weeks ago and now they spend every moment together. He�s already met her mother and she�s meeting his mother tonight. This is exactly what she wanted from me and this is exactly what I don�t want. I need space. Meeting your mother after a week cramps my style. I need a two-year gap before meeting your mother. Otherwise the word smother will be used during a heated discussion. Then there is the Accountant who I had planned to meet last Wed. We made plans to meet at her Friends place in the suburbs near my place. So I call her cell phone before I leave and I get no signal. I call again and it goes straight to voice mail. So I decide leave a message and drive to her friends place. When I arrive no one is there. I called and left another message, �Hello, hope you�re still alive.� Expecting her to call back later that night to apologize. She was supposed to leave for vacation the next day. Since she didn�t call I had a horrible vision of a policeman arresting me and then taking me to the big house for an interrogation. They�d play me the voice mail that I left, �Hello, Hope you�re still alive.� Then they�d call me a sick bastard and ask me where she was. Of course I�d be innocent but the voice mail would make me look guilty and the real killer would go free while I rotted on death row/ No policeman came and she finally called back on Sunday to rub it in my face that the Bears lost. No apology nothing. I didn�t mention to her that I drove to her friends place on Wed but I did ask what happened. She said she lost her phone can didn�t make it to her friends. So I�m now officially a sucker with a capitol S. 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