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McDude's Kind of Coolpost-oral coital chitchat |
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2004-01-25 - 8:26 p.m. I’ve hung out with the dancer a couple of times in the last week. We first went out for pizza before Christmas. I described as having huge breasts for a dancer. She has huge breasts for anyone let alone a dancer. We went out to dinner last weekend and played mini golf before returning to her place so I could teach her how to play poker. When we got to her place I started drinking and before I knew it I was rather drunk. We made out for a while and I passed out on the couch. While we were making out she told me that no one had ever gone down on her and she didn’t want me to yet. I was confused because it wasn’t like her clothes were flying off. I had to work from home last Friday night to test some things out and invited her over. We watched ‘The Hours’. In the middle of the movie she asked me if I knew why one character was upset with another character, as if I were not sitting there watching the same movie. Then we were watching a family guy episode when, out of the blue, she starts talking about how she can repeat all 50 states in alphabetical order. I don’t think she understands when it is appropriate to talk during a movie. So I decided to make her watch a couple of Tenacious D skits, two involving loads of jizz and one involving a guy giving birth out of his ass. Most people who have strong stomachs have found them sickening. She covered her eyes and refused to watch. I felt a little guilty about making her watch it but that is what she gets for talking during things that I am interested in. After I was done working she made a move on me. This time things went a little further. She motioned for me to go down on her and I did. Then she did the same. Her boobs are so big that when she was giving me head they were squishing my balls. It is quite painful to have 5-pound balloons bouncing against my boys. So afterwards we were lying there talking when she said something that reminded me of my old college roommate’s ex-girlfriend, who I happened to date for 4 months in high school. I mention this and all of a sudden she gets quiet. Then she proclaims that she is going home and abruptly leaves. Five minutes after she leaves she calls crying and says, “Maybe you shouldn’t talk about other girls when you are in bed with one.” What the hell is this? Jesus. Excuse me for making post-oral coital chitchat. She called and apologized the next day. After she apologized she paused. I assume the pause was for me so that I could apologize. Screw that. I’m not going to apologize for something that was not in the wrong. We had a short conversation and said our good-byes. She called me again this morning. Then emailed me. I think she’s stalking me. So, I’ve decided to call her and let her know that I don’t think we are compatible. Hopefully it will go well. Nobody enjoys making people cry. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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