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McDude's Kind of CoolChicken Transvestite |
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2004-08-19 - 11:31 p.m. One of my lunch buddies at work mentioned that he saw me jogging last night. So I proceeded to explain my running route and how it has progressed over the last month. I mentioned how I lost some stamina when I had a bout of diarrhea two weeks ago. The entire table groaned and had disgusting looks on their faces. “What?” I asked. One guy said that I should have referred to it as my stomach problem. I had the same reaction when explaining the illness to my cube mates. They responded with horror and disgust. But if I were struck with the flu they’d be perfectly fine with it. It’s not like I had gallons of zit puss flying out of my ass. That would be gross. People need to loosen up. Diarrhea is no worse than a story about binge drinking that ends when the drunk vomits in the back a cab. I’ve decided to take tomorrow off. I desperately need a day off simply because I have virtually nothing to do. My day consists of checking the issues log queue first thing in the morning and finding zero issues. I then delete about 20 work related emails in my inbox of which 19 do not pertain to me. Then I’ll write short emails to most of my friends. I’ll check dilbert, cnn, my hometown newspaper, Suntimes.com for Chicago Bears news, chicagobears.com, yahoo sports for the Cubs standings. Then I’ll try and find someone at work to BS with for about 20 minutes. Upon returning I’ll reply to my friend’s responses then my old lunch buddy will call and we’ll talk for 20 minutes. I’ll talk to the lunch buddy about the Bears, different co-workers and his bathroom. Then I’ll surf the web for about 15 minutes before its time for lunch. I’ll go to lunch for at least 90 minutes. Currently we talk mostly about football during lunch and someone will argue for or against a particular player’s statistics. So right after lunch I’ll go and look up the statistics for that player on the internet then check cnn.com again to see if the worlds exploded. Usually I’ll daydream until about 2 PM when the Russian Girl on my team will stop by. Then I’ll take a tea break with her for about 30 minutes. I’ll surf the web for a while and send out some more emails. Then I’ll go take a shit. I’ll daydream and BS with co-workers until 4 PM when I leave an hour early. My day has become a routine that I often forget what day of the week it is. I desperately need a new project. But the one I’m on won’t be outsourced until December or January. Woe is me. I never thought getting paid good money to do shit would suck so much. Productive work is the only way to prevent sour emotions. So it’s now 11:36 PM. I’ve done nothing tonight but drink beer and play John Madden Football. I created a new user ID for online play. When I use the new ID I will only use the Chicago Bears as my team. Thus I used the Fridge as part of my user name. I played two games with the new ID and lost both. They don’t give the Bears any respect in the game. Plus I played to guys ranked in the top 10000. Oh I was drunk to… yeah that’s it I lost because of my blood alcohol content. So what do you call a chicken in a super man outfit? Answer: Transvestite Chicken on Halloween. That would be a great Halloween outfit. Dress up as a chicken in a super man out fit. In fact the best Halloween outfits combine two costumes to make a statement. A pig man in a police uniform is one example or girls with giant strap on dildos. I should dress up as the Unabomber with a George Bush for President poster this Halloween. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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