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McDude's Kind of CoolCock Blocking on Sweetest Day |
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2003-10-19 - 11:26 p.m. I celebrated Oktoberfest by going to the Chicago Brauhaus yesterday. I bought a 2-dollar hat and drank some Francis Conner and a Pint of Bitburger. After ordering our food I listened to a couple describe Amsterdam and the Running of the Bulls. Well it is a good thing they aren’t trying to market these places because their stories were rather boring. During a pause in the conversation ‘talk show host’ gives me an extra 2-dollar hat. Apparently a girl at the table had been eyeing me and he wanted me to put it on her head as a flirting gesture. About 1 minute later the girl stated she wanted to dance and the couple I was talking with was encouraging me to dance with her. “Score” A girl who giggled at every comment I made and who was eyeing me all night is now dancing with me. The band was playing polka music so we danced in circles and I twirled her. We laughed and giggled. When the band took a break we walked to another table where the rest of our crew was. She then grabbed the hand of my friends buddy, “the accountant!” I was cock blocking some guy’s girlfriend on Sweetest Day. I felt like an ass. This had already rubbed me the wrong way. Whenever I’ve met him in the past I try to strike up a conversation and he just provides yes or no answers and stairs at the wall. One night I asked, “Do you ever get sick of being called a bean counter?” Then after an awkward pause I quipped, “Because I get sick of being called a computer geek.” First I make fun of his profession now I’m fantasizing about stealing his girlfriend. (Something I shouldn’t do simply because my ex might have been stolen from me.) I’m trying to convince myself that he’s a boring bean counter and that she needs a guy with a 21st century profession. What an Ass! On Sweetest day! I’m going straight to hell. Luckily my buddy’s brother saves the day. He was participating in a yodeling contest. When it was his turn instead of yodeling he sang, “You all can suck my Schnitzel.” Surprisingly they didn’t kick him out. Needless to say he didn’t win the contest. But at least our crew was focused on his bonehead move and not my cock blocking maneuvers. Toward the end of the night my buddy’s wife was looking for him and wanted me to check the restroom. I walk in and see that someone is in the toilet. I yell, “Kn*dsen”. Then some guy at the urinal quotes the Big Lebowski and says, “Who the fuck are the Kn*dsen’s?” I replied, “I am gonna go find a cash machine.” When I returned I told the wife I couldn’t find him and then 5 minutes later he shows up wearing the same shoes that I saw in the restroom stall. We argued for 10 minutes about whether he should have answered or not. The girl I had danced with was listening to the conversation. After quoting the Big Lebowski lines she says she loved the Big Lebowski but didn’t remember who “Fawn Kn*dsen” was. I went on to say she was Bunny Lebowski, the girl that said she suck the dude’s cock for a 1000 dollars. Talkshow host thought that might have been a deal breaker but instead she laughed and continued the conversation. Now I’m dreading talking to my buddy at work tomorrow. Is he going to give me crap for dancing with his friend’s girlfriend? He’ll probably tell me they broke up on sweetest day. Maybe I’ll keep dreaming. Like this entry? Vote for me here!
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